The long awaited and well deserved end of my marriage to Vinny.

"Come on", he coaxed as he pulled me towards an empty bedroom. "One last time for old times sake". He smiled that snaky smile of his and I felt something snap inside of me. I yanked my hand out of his grip and made my way out of the apartment yelling back that I'd see him in court .


How did I end up there, you ask?


Well... "He" ^ is my ex-husband Vinny the Guinea(<--- that was my moms pet name for him).


In April of 2005 while Jorge and I were on our second separation, I returned to the west coast of Florida to stay with and help my sister out with her kids. I managed to find Vinny and I convinced him that we needed to file for divorce. I mean, it had been over a year that I lived on the opposite side of the state and that I had not had contact with him. We might as well do what needs to be done and cut the legal strings.

Of course he wasn't going down without a fight. He begged me in front of the court clerk who was handling our Do it Yourself Divorce paperwork (which I did for both of us) to give us another chance. That he was sorry. That he had changed. That I didn't really want to do this. That ending our marriage would be a mistake. The bastard even got down on his knees. Talk about a drama queen ( I will explain more about in a later entry). I was mortified. I just wanted this all to be over as quickly as possible. The clerk gave me a receipt for the paperwork and advised me that I would receive a court date in the mail.

We left the court house and of course I had to bring Vinny home since I had brought him there to ensure the paperwork actually got turned in. He told me he wanted to show me something, so my dumb ass followed him upstairs into the apartment that he shared with his girlfriend, the Douche. The "thing" he wanted to show me turned out to be the view of the crappy man made lake/puddle that could be seen from the patio area. Wow. Really? Well, then his true intentions started to come out. He started in again on how we shouldn't be divorcing, blah, blah, blah... Then he got in front of me, grabbed my hand and that brings me back to the top.

"Come on", he coaxed as he pulled me towards an empty bedroom. "One last time for old times sake". He smiled that snaky smile of his and I felt something snap inside of me. I yanked my hand out of his grip and made my way out of the apartment yelling back that I'd see him in court . As I stormed out of the apartment I passed through the living room which held the only piece of furniture in the house, an air mattress. For some reason, this fueled my anger. He wanted to have "one last go at it" on the carpeted floor?!?! I wasn't even good enough for the frikken air mattress??

Luckily, the court date came in the mail a few days later. April 20Th, 2005. I absolutely love that day. It was hilarious to me that we would be officially divorced on a day that he loved as well, being a pot head and all. The day came and by the insistence of the Douche (who I am sure was told by a neighbor that I had been in her house) they picked me up and we drove to the courthouse. This Douche had the audacity to try to walk into the courtroom with us when they called our name, and as soon as the bailiff turned her away Vinny pleaded with me not to go through with it. I turned to him and told him if he didn't shut the fuck up and agree with everything I said, I would change my mind and ask for alimony and spousal support. I told him he better believe that I would get it too on account of all the cheating and abuse I endured during our marriage and for the fact that I had so many witnesses to attest to it. I reminded him that marrying him was the biggest mistake I had ever made and if he really did love me like he said he would just leave me alone.

The proceeding ended quickly since we had no property to split, no children to fight over, and no other disputes, and finally I was free. I still had to endure a ride home from him and the douche, but I enjoyed the ride knowing that this would be the last time I ever saw either one of them. When we pulled up to my sisters house I was surprised to see that the front was decorated with balloons and a "congratulations" banner. My sister, and two of our friends Ianna, and Melissa were standing in the drive way already celebrating with a bottle of Tequila and shot glasses. They started yelling "No more Vinny", "4/20 Bitches" while jumping up and down like a bunch of teenagers that just caught a glimpse of the New Kids on the Block. It was the best and funniest surprise I have ever gotten. The look on Vinny's face as the car pulled away was priceless. And a perfect ending to a very long and hard chapter in my life.